Janet and I picked up Dad’s sister, Nyla, at the airport tonight. We had a good visit on our way to Dads house. When we arrived Dad was awake and he got a big smile on his face when he saw Nyla. Wayne, my brother was already there. We all chatted for a while. Dad was listening and would answer questions about events in the past. He seemed to enjoy listening to the banter. Natalie was preparing Dad’s new food bag. Realistically, the food is being pumped slowly into Dad 24 hours a day so there is no real distinction of breakfast, lunch or dinner. However, at just after 6:00 Natalie hung the new bag and started up the pump and Wayne blurted out. “It’s a new record, dinner before seven.” We all laughed, including Natalie. Janet and I left to go home and Natalie, Nyla and Wayne went to dinner leaving Dad in the hands of her Natalie’s daughter, Terry. Dad slept while they were gone, but woke up later in the evening in lots of pain. Pain is something that may become more a part of his life.
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I stopped by Dads house to visit him this morning. He was sleeping fairly sound. Foxy was outside looking in at me. She yapped a couple of times. The yapping did not even stir Dad. I would guess that without the early visit by the student doctors and any checks for vitals, including that morning poke to check the blood sugar that Dad is sleeping better. After over 30 minutes of watching him sleep, he rolled a little and opened one of his eyes halfway. I thought it was a good time to let Dad know that I was going to leave for work. He raised his arms up to give me a hug and I gave him one back letting him know that I would be by this evening. I asked if he was going back to sleep. He quietly said yes as he nodded his affirmation. After the hug he settled in and seemed to drift back to sleep quickly. I have been looking for a dog for a couple of years now. It is a difficult decision because of the commitment that is necessary. One day I picked up the “Ten Commandments For Pet Owners. Commandment One: My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. Any separation from you will be very painful.” How would we go on vacation? I would have to be there every day to feed and water the dog. I would not want to put my dog into a pain of separation. I really did not know if I am that committed so I have not brought one home. Dad has never been a pet person either. That I know of, he really did not want a dog. But a couple of years ago, a dog came to live with Dad and Natalie. As mentioned before, my boys call it a “fluff ball on sticks.” As I arrived at Dad’s home to see him this afternoon, the doors were closed to the room he was in. Cheyenne, my niece said that the doors were closed so that Foxy [the Pomeranian] would not bother dad. I was still on the page that Dad was not fond of dogs so I understood why Cheyenne was intent on keeping Foxy the Pomeranian out. Foxy the Pomeranian strolled into the room and was excited to see Dad. She ran from one side of the bed to the other, up on the chair then back and forth between the sides of the bed. Foxy wanted up. Dad motioned to Foxy to jump up. I now figured that he liked dogs more than I previously understood. Perhaps it is only a Foxy thing. Natalie picked up Foxy to see Dad. Dad petted Foxy on motioned for Natalie to put Foxy on the bed. She did and Foxy found a place to lay down on Dad while Dad stroked her fluff. A few minutes later, as Foxy was lying on dad, she began to growl in a low rumbly growl. Natalie then said that whenever Foxy was laying with Dad and she did not want to be moved, she growled. If she walked into the bedroom and Foxy was laying with Dad, she would growl at Natalie to indicate, leave us alone. I walked up to Foxy to give her a pet and asked Dad if I could take a picture. She did not growl. I said to dad that I thought she would be growing at me. He told me that because he liked me, Foxy like me also. I took the picture on my BlackBerry. It turned out marginal because the window above dad was being blasted with the sun coming from the West. Tomorrow an aide is coming to give him a bath and possibly shower him. I will get a better picture of him with Foxy when he is cleaned up.  Dad and Foxy Dad seems to be happy to be home. A couple of nurses were getting him set up and getting the meds ordered for delivery. Eric was there taking care of small details, like putting up a blind to block some of the afternoon sun. I put in his buzzer so that he could hail some help. I called it the Dad Advocacy Button. Because he cannot call for help very well, he has a buzzer to do the work. He pushed the button to try it out. Those on the outside of the French doors said that it could be heard upstairs. You could hear its scream faintly on the inside. I let Dad know that if he was not getting a quick enough response that I could get a bigger buzzer. Of course he grinned at that. With Dad in a comfy bed at home, with a favorite friend, Foxy, a button to get some attention and the knowledge he will get a shower tomorrow, what more could he want? I left the house grinning at the thought of Dad spending his last days with the “fluff ball on sticks” that loves him and that he loves. I was running later than ordinary today and when I arrived, Dad actually looked asleep. However, upon closer inspection there was an indication that he was not. Clutched between his pointer finger and thumb was a small square of cloth. The indication thereof was that he was stuck once again. He opened his eyes and said good morning. I asked him if they had tested his blood sugar and he replied, “Yes, and they had trouble getting blood.” I let him know that I was not surprised, that was the same finger that they could not of get blood out of yesterday. Had they not figured out that that finger was empty? Dad grinned, at the thought. He said that he slept relatively well. I do, however, get the feeling that he does not really have a good indication of day and night. He is asleep, awake, asleep, awake off and on 24 hours a day. I go to sleep, get my seven hours and get up. Dad does not really get up and do anything for 16 hours a day and surely does not sleep the remaining 8 hours. So a good night’s sleep is only relative to what he considers night. Dad asked again about the children. He wants to make sure that they are doing well. He is happy to hear that they are doing well. It reminds me of a class I had years ago in college that talked about the interest grandparents have in their grandchildren. It was explained that grandparents see their legacy as it is passed on in their grandchildren as opposed to their children. Legacy is a long term thing that should last over time. We chatted for a while longer. I told dad that I made him his call button and if it did not work to his liking, I would get a louder buzzer and that the technology is there to wake the neighborhood. He smiled at the thought. In many respects Dads eyes were brighter today. However, he did not have much stamina. He said that he thought he would have trouble sitting up on a chair in a shower. We will have to find a way. I let him know that the worst case scenario is getting a good hair washing. He was excited about worst case because a good hair washing is something that he would love to have. He has 2 plus week bed head enhanced from the essential oils of the scalp and speckled with whatever has been floating through the air for the past two weeks. Dad left the hospital for home at about 1:00 today. I will have to check on him and follow up on the scalp scrub. I know he will be glad to be home. When I walked into Dad’s room this morning he was up and sitting in a chair. He looked tired. I also noticed that he had a foley catheter back. The student doctor was talking to Dad. He asked I’d Dad was in pain. The answer was yes. The student listened to Dad’s lungs and then he checked his belly, a push here and there followed a thump here and there. The conclusion is that his belly is less distended due to less gas than it had yesterday. When Dad has burped in the past he has always announced it with a smile as good news. More burping means less gas. His bed was clean and ready for him so he wanted to get back into bed. I was giving him a hand up like yesterday and his legs were not lifting him very well. He was extremely shaky. I sat him back down and the student doctor took one side and I took the other so we could get Dad back in bed. Dad then got poked so they could check his blood sugar level. He did not bleed very well so the nurse got another poker and went for a different finger. His blood sugar was a little high so he would get another poke to give him insulin. Once all the poking, abdominal thumping and pressing was done, Dad and I chatted for a few minutes. I turned off the lights and closed the doors. It was time for the shift change reporting and that means a lot of talking out in the nursing area. Dad was tired and began to close his eyes. I held his hand as he drifted off. I sat there for some time watching Dad rest. His eyes popped open; he looked at me and asked, you are getting me a call button. I let him know that I was. He wants an electronic button in his bed that he can ring when he needs help. He wanted his feet uncovered so I uncovered his feet. He felt warm and I asked him if he knew if he was running a temperature. He said it was 101. He closed his eyes and drifted off again. I sat for some time, but time was getting short so gave Dad a kiss and a hug, told him I loved him. He responded back the same. As of this evening I have a hospital bed call cord from work. I stopped by Electronics Warehouse and picked up some parts to construct a buzzer that rings when the button is pressed. It should work well. If it is not loud enough, they have this extremely obnoxious buzzer that is really loud that I can connect up as well. If that does not work we have the technology to let the neighborhood know that Dad wants some attention or needs something. It is another day and another visit with Dad. Upon my arrival he was asleep with his mouth wide open. That seems to be his usual sleeping jaw position. I knew that his next radiation treatment was not for an hour so I thought I would catch a little nap. The first thing that caught my attention, as my eyes were closed and I was trying to drift off, was his neighbor’s bed. That thing squeals like a stuck pig when it goes up or down. His neighbor needed to get up out of bed so the bed squealed up. A few minutes later when his neighbor got back into bed, it squealed down. Dad kept sleeping away. I kept trying to drift off. There was always some noise, beep or voice that was creating noise. It became clearer in my mind why there is no real sleep to be had in a hospital. As a nurse came into the room and Dad popped open his eyes and started to speak. His speech was fairly slurred to begin with. I responded with a smile and a good morning. He smiled back. He let the nurse and I know that he had business to take care of. We got his bed into position, got him into position and helped him up and over to the commode. When he was finished we helped him back to bed and got him tucked in. The nurse was concerned over how weak he was and if he would truly be safe. About then the doctor popped in and the nurse asked about Dad’s strength and ability to use the commode. The doctor said that with the feedings Dad should get stronger and it should not be a problem, that he wanted Dad to try to get stronger. He did not want Dad confined to a bed. The nurse looked at dad and said that will just be your daily exercise. After dad was settled we had some time to talk. He asked about the kids. We talked about each one. He was happy to hear they are doing well. We talked about how children get big so fast. I let him know about the scout outing next weekend where we are going on a hike that will be more like climbing up stairs for over four miles. Of course, there is the four miles back down. Gee, I can’t wait. We even talked about the 117 bumps to his treatment. He rolled his eyes and asked how many time he would need to make the trip today. I let him know that I thought it would only be once. After some more conversation, Dad laid his head back and closed his eyes. I asked him if he wanted to take a nap and he nodded yes. I gave him a kiss and told him that I loved him and let him get some rest.  Sandalwood and English Fern For today’s shave I used a Clauss New Departure Razor. The razor originated from Clauss in Fremont Ohio. I was given this razor several months ago. The edge needed some work so I used the hone’s that were given to me by my barber. They had been rattling around his drawer for almost 30 years. In order to be a barber, you had to know how to give someone a shave with a straight razor. Talk about scary. Can you imagine going to the barber school to have a student give you an inexpensive shave? Once honed on the two hones, I stropped the razor on the linen side of the strop many times. Then off to the leather side for many more strokes. I ran the razor across my thumbnail and felt it was ready for a test drive. It worked well. Tonight I pulled it out again. This shave is in honor of one of my brothers who shaves with a “Track II” because he does not like spending good money for the latest and greatest shaving trend. (I have tried the Gillette Fusion Power 5 blade shaving apparatus and I concluded that it was one of the worst shaves that I have ever had.) I think of my brother as brilliant and his thought process is extremely sound. I feel the same way. Saving money is great. What is better than a free Razor, some time getting it in shape, one that I will have for many years of shaving pleasure? And there is no need to purchase one of those plastic and steel imitation shaving devices that fill our landfills. Now that is a Green thought. Additionally, I say, if it cannot cut you, it is really not shaving you. Because my brother is moving up North to Oregon, I chose Sandalwood Luxury Shaving Cream from The Vulfix Old Original Shaving Brush Company. It has a wonderful earthy aroma. It works up to a rich aromatic lather that allows the smooth New Departure razor to give a quick departure of the whiskers from my face. What a great shave. And for the finale, some good splashes on the smooth face with Penhaligon’s English Fern after shave. I feel as fresh as a beautiful meadow after a spring rain. Now that is a shave. Before he gets out of town, I am going to pass on a Track II handle that a good friend gave me. It is pictured below with a couple of Gillette Super Speed safety razors. Both of which give an outstanding shave and are still “Greener” than any pretend shaver on the market on the market today. Blades are cheap, do not fill up the landfill as much and they also disintegrate faster over time that plastic. Go Green.  Slightly used but highly cost effective I stopped by this morning to see Dad. I am later than I expected and I found that he was not in his bed. He has been taken down for a radiation treatment. He does have a nice clean bed to come back to. I sat and waited. Soon Dad arrived back at the room I said good morning to him. The nursing staff had to get him back into his bed. I was intrigued with how they were going to do it. They rolled the two beds together and put a thin flat backboard over the split between the two beds. They had him roll away from the target bed to get the backboard partially under him and a sheet that he was lying on. Two nurses reached over the target bed and grabbed the sheet. Then two nurses on the other bed looked as if they were going to push. On the mark, they quickly moved Dad. His eyes got big as saucers as he quickly slid from one bed to the other. I asked Dad if he was OK. He replied that he thought he was headed off the side of the bed. The nurses settled him in bed, got is IV’s and other things connected. They started to feed him as I slid a chair up next to him. He did ask what he was having for breakfast. The nurse gave some answer to what it was and I looked at dad and told him to pretend it was vanilla ice cream. He said that he could do that and smiled. Dad let me know that there were 171 bumps in his ride from his room to the room he was treated. He said it was always a bumpy ride except for once. He said that he always counts the bumps. I would guess he uses that as an indicator of how far away or how close he is to his room. Then again, what does one do when they are flat on their back staring at a moving ceiling? I told Dad that I had been out punching holes in paper. We talked about that for a while. He got a smile on his face when I let him know that Janet punches holes in paper as well. He thought it was great that we had something we could do together. We talked about going home. He said it would be Thursday because they needed to do something to him Wednesday. He was not sure what and then again he could have confused the day he is leaving. Better to exceed his expectations if he is going home Wednesday or Tuesday. I let him know that I wanted to stop by bright and early like I have been when he is home and he thought that would be great. Because he is in bed all day he said he sleeps when he can and he is awake when he is awake. He also mentioned the desire to take a shower when he got home so he could wash his hair. I told him I did not know if he could get wet. I let him know that he could probably wash his hair in the kitchen sink. I think he is looking for a good bath and hair washing. I told him he could probably even get a good shave in. He looked at me like I had spoken some heresy. I just grinned back and let him know that I knew that he had no desire to shave. I did let him know that I did not shave this morning so that I could go home and enjoy a relaxing shave. As I gave him a kiss good bye and told him I loved him, he replied, I love you too and you are prickly. Well off to a good shave. I have not got a lot to write at this hour. Eric, my brother sent out in an email within the past hour detailing the prognoses for Dad. He should be coming home early next week. I know that is what Dad wants to do. In regards to his overall condition, he is not doing well. As I have talked about before, he has a bad infection and has not been able to have chemotherapy due to that fact. Hopefully his body will tolerate the feedings that have begun so he will have more strength. Eric has been fortunate to work at LLUMC and see Dad on a daily basis. I know as I have seen him almost every morning, it is difficult to see him slowly moving towards the end of his life. Like Eric, one piece of solace I gain each day is that I can look my dad in the eyes and tell him that I love him. I walked in to Dads room this morning and he was awake. There were a couple of PCA’s there getting him into a clean gown. Dad may not have liked the fact that his bowels started working after his surgery, but that is good news. He can start being fed trough his feeding tube. Dad wants to go home. He is tired of the hospital. He is tired of the noise. He is tired of his neighbors TV. Did I mention he was tired of his neighbors TV? He really wanted to make that point. He just wants peace and quiet. He has a radiation treatment today and needs one more to finish the radiation. Once he is fed through the tube and that goes well, there will not be much keeping him in at LLUMC. Dad smiles when something is funny. He looks you in the eyes when he is serious and wants to talk. However, much of the time, his eyes are glazed or closed. Perhaps it is because I just sit there and do not say much. I am there to listen, not to talk about stuff. I did let him know that I was selected for a jury that should last a couple of days. He said, good. I also told him that I get so sleep in tomorrow and will see him at 8:00AM rather than around 6:00AM. He smiled at that. Just as there comes a time each year when the leaves of some deciduous trees, due to cooler temperatures, begin to change their green color for reds and yellows, it seems that dad is in that same season. The vibrancy of spring green has faded and the subtle hues of red and yellow seem to be creeping quickly into his life. He may not be long with the color of fall. The certainty of the chill of death and the lifeless look of a tree without its leaves is soon to be seen. We must take the time now to enjoy and celebrate the good times we have had with our father as the season he finds himself in quickly changes to the next. I am sitting here at jury duty. That is a challenge in and of itself. Now they have turned the TV’s on and I have to sit waiting for jury duty and listen to Obama talk about health care. I already read about California and it’s budget problems. Then again, they announced a while ago that the coffee machine was out of coffee. That could be real tough on some people. Perhaps I should relax start reading my Guns & Ammo magazine to pass the time. Today is Jury Duty so I am writing my blog from the Jury Room. I saw Dad this morning. He looked like he was sleeping when I walked in. His right leg was dangling off the bed and he had been given oxygen yesterday because his O2 level was low. The PCA said that she had put his legs back in bed and they kept finding their way out. Dad popped his eyes open and I said good morning. He did not feel that his night went well. His PCA said that he had run a high temperature during the night. Dad looked a little uncomfortable but he did not know what he wanted to do to feel more comfortable. He was also breathing through his mouth and the O2 was in his nose. Eric came into the room and we talked for a few minutes. Dad wanted to sit so we moved a chair next to his bed and helped him into the chair. He was more comfortable there. He actually began breathing through his nose so he got more color in his face. We chatted for a while and Eric had to get to work. Soon I had to go so I could make it to Jury Duty. Wayne is going to visit this morning and I my add more later. Dad was sleeping when I came in the room. His PCA said that he had spiked a temperature up to 103.5 and that they had to put ice on him to cool him down. He had ice packs under his arms and on his thighs. I also noticed the bag on the side of the bed indicating that a foley catheter had been placed. In a few minutes he woke up and I asked him how he was doing. He said that he was cold. I asked him if he was a crisp as a cucumber. He got a grin on his face and nodded yes. I thought if I had ice packs under my arms and on my thighs I would be cold as well. We chatted for a while. He said he slept fairly well. I thought that he would have because the night before he got up several times to go to the bathroom. Last night he did not need to do that. Today was going to get radiation on his femur. I hope that with a few radiation treatments that will reduce the pain he has in his leg. The PCA checked his temperature and it has dropped to 99.1. There was a little cheering in the room because he could soon have the ice removed. Dad’s status later in the day was that they had moved his PIC line from his left arm to his right arm due to infection. He was also going to get his first feeding from his feeding tube as well. Wayne called me from the hospital in the evening and said that he was getting several visitors. That is good that people are coming out to see him. Wayne also said that his temperature was down. Wayne brushed his hair for a while and tucked him in for the night. He said that Dad was tired from lots of visitors. I will have to wait and see how he is doing tomorrow. There is a time a man has got to do what a man has got to do. I came home for lunch and created myself a heaping pastrami and provolone sandwich on rye bread with a generous helping of potato salad. I would have to read too many packages and do some mathematical calculations to realize what the caloric count was. Then again, that does not matter because it was a great sandwich. So that brings me to dinner. A guy needs a light dinner after a hearty lunch. Then again, the garden needs some attention so a plan is created. You get out you man sized cast iron skillet that weighs in at over ten pounds. That is about a 14 incher for those with designer cookware. The skillet is then put on some low heat to begin warming up. Then it is off to the garden and pantry. The garden provides the zucchini, bell pepper, Anaheim chili, oregano, sweet basil, cinnamon basil, marjoram, thyme and rosemary. Out of the pantry comes the onion, cloves of garlic and tomatoes. The large box in the kitchen provides the sweet corn. With a warm skillet loved by a generous amount of olive oil that has heated up to the task, the flames are turned up to the proper intensity so that the onions can be the first to jump in. They are sautéed to the point where they begin to become translucent. That signals it is time for the bell and Anaheim chili peppers. The cloves of garlic go soon after with a liberal amount of black pepper and some salt. By now the zucchini is bored and it wants in on the action. The party of green things is stirred while the aromatics are miniaturized via the sharp edge of the blade that wreaked havoc on the other green things. A little more stirring and in go the herbs to the party of all things green. As they are blended, a blossom of aromatic aromas fills the air. The tomatoes and corn are sent in to add a little color. What a tasty treat of All Things Green. I quickly ate one plate full as I read my Outdoor Life magazine. As I went back for more and Eric, the 16 year old said – “What is for dinner?” I held up my plate of All Things Green and he said, “no way.” I replied, do you want a hot dog? He said yes. A typical boy’s response to All Things Green is the desire of some incarnation of premanufactured intestinal blockage.  All Things Green It takes a man, his cast iron skillet and a garden full of wonderful things to create a real mans meal of All Things Green. I dedicate the next plate full to my brothers. May they enjoy a plate of All Things Green in their future. I arrived early today as I have meetings at work on Tuesday mornings. When I entered the room, it was dark and Dad was sleeping with his mouth was wide open. The PCA or Personal Care Assistant was in the room. She said that he had a difficult night and kept getting up to go to the bathroom. I might add that getting up to go to the bathroom is not an easy thing for him to do. He had finally really started sleeping about 5:00 AM. I sat and watched him as he slept for about a half hour. Just before 7:00 AM his eyes opened his eyes and looked around. I said good morning to Dad. Asked him how he slept and he replied not well. His back was hurting. I let him know that I had been here watching him sleep for some time and it looked like he was sleeping well. He said that was probably true because his mouth was extremely dry. He needed to go to the bathroom so he stood and took care of business. The PCA asked if Dad wanted to clean up and he replied yes. She got his toothbrush and put tooth paste on it. She handed me a cup of water to hold for him. She went to hand him the toothbrush and he gave her the look of why do I want that. He said that he did not want that. So the PCA went to get some warm soapy water, wash cloths and towels. He scrubbed a little and the PCA scrubbed the rest. I held dad up so the PCA could get the backside. After the scrubbing he got the spray treatment. He loved having the Right Guard sprayed under his arms. He got that look on his face exclaiming, that is cold. He smiled and exclaimed that he smelled good. We then got dad in a chair so that the PCA could change his bed. Clean bed, clean body and a little right guard. All he needed was a good shave. Of course the shave part is my personal opinion. Dad is sure that he will not ever need to shave again and has no desire to shave as well. Dad settled in for the morning. He has surgery today to place a feeding tube in his small intestine so that he can receive some nourishment. (Surgery went well and as of 4:00 PM he was sleeping) |
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